PAPARAZZI RELEASE! EXCLUSIVE!!!!!

Blind Item: What diva feline NEVER is seen snuggling with her so-called "husband" (rumored to be gaaaaaay, but we're not saying it)?

You be the judge!

What the CRAP is this?!

You want us to clean our teeth while we dine on treats?
We'll show you! We'll put them in our mouths, then spit them out.
That's how we roll.
$4.32 wasted, dear Agent!

Look What We Bought at the Store!

I hope The Agent kept the receipt, because I'm prepared to return him already!

Sleepy Agent Haiku

Evil, little puss.
Keeping me from sleep all night;
Alarm chimes...you sleep.

They asked...so I posed.

The Brach Fur Files

The Brach fur from "The Fight." (Kukka totally won!)

The Brach fur from "The Brush."

Brach, grooming himself against the the brush.
Seriously, dude...have some dignity!

Stand on Me

Every night, I walk on The Agent's prone form, in bed, as she patiently (and sometimes NOT-so-patiently) waits for me to settle down. Most of the time, I'll stand there and stare at her. Occasionally, I'll turn around and around, in circles. Still other times, I'll stand, lie down, stand again, invite Brach over to stand with me, and lie down again.

Artist's Rendering:

What is actually happening:

What The Agent claims it feels like:

What a whiny baby!

While she perceives it to be about her lack of comfort, I think she's missing reality completely. Clearly, this is a twisted and horrific take on Hans Christian Andersen's The Princess and The Pea! How am I supposed to be expected to sleep on such an uncomfortable lump?!

(On a side note, I think we can all agree our resident artist must be legally blind. There is no way The Agent is that flat-chested or I'm that not-super-sexy! Although, The Agent's bed-head is dead-on!)